Written by Elaine Claffey, Psychotherapist
What can I do if I, or someone, I know has been raped or sexually assaulted?
I have worked with victims of sexual violence for over 20yrs and I have witnessed the enormous crisis and upheaval it can bring to someone’s life. . I use the word ‘victim’ for the purpose of this article- often that is the feeling associated with the immediate crisis a person experiences with sexual violence.
Rape and sexual assault are very serious crimes and can have a devastating effect on the victim’s life, and on those around her/him. I have also witnessed the transformation that can be made in coming out of that devastation and chaos as they process what has happened to them, restructure and rebuild, often moving into a stronger place within themselves. They may live a very different life after this transition. They have had to dig deep into their strengths, allowing themselves to be open to enormous feelings of vulnerability, anxiety, fear, loss, shame, anger etc. It can be a difficult and painful journey. While some make this transition and create a happy and fulfilling life post the attack/s – for others it is a more traumatic and staggered journey.
Our journeys are unique to us. Loving, patient, non- judgemental support from families and friends can help sustain. Being believed is so important yet often when victims disclose they are met with suspicion and judgement. “What did she think was going to happen wearing that skirt?” “If he hadn’t been so drunk he could have protected himself” “she was the one that invited him back to hers” All these types of judgements cast blame on the victim and away from the perpetrator of the crime. They can be psychologically damaging to the victim at the very time they are most vulnerable. They may stop the victim seeking help and support as they feel they are to blame. Professional help may be needed if the victim feels ‘stuck’ or ‘lost’ in their feelings or thoughts. If they develop behaviours that cause anxiety or concern. If they self-harm or feel suicidal. If their body image, self-esteem, self-worth feels damaged. If avoiding any reminders of what happened seems like the only way to feel safe.
3 things to keep in mind in the immediate aftermath of a rape or sexual assault:
1. Are you / they in a safe place now? If not take steps to move to a place of safety
2. Do you/they need medical assistance? Injuries?
3. Do you/they want to report?
Are there any obvious injuries? Bleeding? Have they been drugged? Even if there are no obvious injuries you/ they will need to consider possible sexually transmitted infections (STI’s), pregnancy and internal injuries which may need treatment.
Are you /they going to report to the Gardaí? If so time is of the essence to gather any forensic evidence there may be. Ringing 999/ 112 or calling your local garda station, the local garda station of where it happened will all put in motion a series of actions to be taken.
The Gardaí will arrange an appointment with a Sexual Assault Treatment Unit (SATU) for you. They may advise you to stay in the clothes that the attack happened in and not to shower until you have been to the SATU. They may also ask you not to eat or drink or go to the toilet if possible until you get to the SATU or Garda Station. These are all helpful actions towards gathering forensic evidence by the doctor or nurse in the SATU.
If you/they do not feel ready to report to the Gardaí it is still possible to have a medical and forensic examination in the SATU by appointment, and any evidence gathered can be stored for a limited time (1 Year). This gives a victim time to consider all their options without losing the chance of saving any potential evidence for any criminal case to be taken.
For further information and support see links below:
The Dublin Rape Crisis Centre supports both women and men https://www.drcc.ie/
Women’s Aid https://www.womensaid.ie/about/links.html
